The Backpack Isnt the Only Thing Thats Full: Navigating the Stress and Excitement of Back-to-School

Theres a particular kind of chaos that settles over a household in late August. New shoes that somehow don't fit anymore. A school supply list that seems to have grown since last year. A kid who is either counting down the days with excitement or dragging their feet toward the door, and sometimes both in the same afternoon. And underneath all of it, a parent trying to hold their own mix of feelings — relief, guilt, worry, hope — while making sure everyone has a packed lunch.

I hear a lot about this time of year from the parents I work with, and heres something I want tosay: back-to-school season can be stressful even when its also exciting. You dont have to choose between those feelings — youre allowed to hold both at once.

Why This Season Hits Harder Than It Should

Transitions ask a lot of a family, even happy ones. A new school year means new routines, new teachers, new social dynamics for your child to navigate, and often a compressed timeline to figure it all out. If youre also managing your own return to a work schedule, it makes sense that this time of year can feel like more than "just" a calendar change. Your nervous system is responding to real disruption, not overreacting.

Naming Whats Actually Underneath the Stress

Sometimes the anxiety isn't really about the backpack or the bus schedule. It might be about:

• Worry about whether your child will be okay socially or academically

• Grief about how quickly they're growing up

• Guilt about wanting a break from summer togetherness

• Your own memories of school surfacing, especially if they weren't easy ones

• The pressure to have everything — forms, supplies, schedules — perfectly in order

  
  

It can help to ask yourself, underneath the to-do list: what am I actually feeling right now, and where did I learn that feeling from?

Helping Your Child (and Yourself) Through the Transition

A few things tend to genuinely help families move through this season with more ease:

• Naming feelings out loud, including mixed ones — "I'm excited and a little nervous too" gives your child permission to feel the same

• Building in a few predictable anchors early (a consistent morning routine, a bedtime

  that starts before the first day) rather than trying to fix everything at once

• Protecting a little unstructured time, even fifteen minutes, for your child to decompress after school

• Letting go of the pressure to make the first week look effortless — bumpy starts are normal, not a sign you're doing it wrong

  
  

You're Allowed to Feel Relief, Too

If part of you is quietly looking forward to some structure returning, or to having a few hours to yourself again, that doesnt make you a less devoted parent. Loving your kids and needing a break from the intensity of summer are not in conflict. Give yourself permission to feel whatever mix shows up this season — excitement, grief, relief, worry — without needing to sort it into "good parent" and "bad parent" feelings. It's all just part of loving someone through a transition.

Natalia Vinokhodova, LMHCA

Catalyst Counseling

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